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Light

As promised, I made another blog with all my recipes (so far) in it!  I will update it regularly and send you the link each time.  They are my bestest and (mostly) easiest recipes that I've gathered (many from you all).


I have a box of quotes on my desk that my darling dear friend Margaret gave to me.  I don't even know how many quotes it holds, but I'm pretty sure it's a hundred. So every few days (or weeks), I switch the quote and todays' quote is this:

"All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle." By St. Fransic of Assisi.

All the darkness in the world, cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.  Does that not give you hope?  I got chills when I read it the first time and I felt as if I was filled with light.  I thought about my own dark times, my wondering for days/months/years without much hope or joy.  I was in the darkness.  And it is amazing how one small act, one phone call, one drop off of blueberries (you know how you are) or a hug or just a smile, a true, I see you and love you smile, have been the lights in the darkness.  While they shine on me, there is no darkness, only light.

So then, why do I choose darkness?  Why don't I light more candles and dispel the darkness? Why don't I fight for light?  

I know this may seem so basic to everyone and I'm the last one to the party, but I honestly just barely realized that just as the act of faith is an ACT.  It's action.  We will forever remain in the darkness unless we search for the candle and the matches and then, not just hold them in our hands, but light the match and then the wick.  Boom.  Illumination.  Things suddenly become clear and not so scary.

I keep thinking of Plato's Allegory of the Cave.  I'm sure I've read it many times in college, but it wasn't until I helped Henry write an essay a few years ago, that it totally HIT me why we read and re-read it.  It's really about, to me, growing the heck up, and lighting the candle (escaping the cave) so we can SEE reality and not shadows cast upon a wall.  I feel like the escaped prisoner. Since I've lit my candle and escaped from the dark cave of my fears and insecurities, I am beginning to see how misled I've been in so many areas of my life.  I am beginning to see things as they really are. And it's sort of totally disorientating and also TOTALLY awesome!

I think Ursula LeGuin talked about this exact concept in her Wizard of Earth Sea.  Ged is literally running from himself.  Fear blinds him so that he cannot see that the answer was/is right in front of him.

Is that how we all are?  Watching shadows, being acted upon, being blinded by our fears and ignorance?  And what happens that we get courage to break our bonds, escape, light a candle, or refuse to yield to the universe anymore?

I think the answer is need and desire to be more, see more, do more and being so sick and tired of feeling helpless we are ready to try anything.

It's amazing what a motivator hating your life is.  I'm sure you all have like a thousand different things that made you turn your life around, but for me, it was hating my life and really not liking myself.  It's made me stop and dig deep and light some candles even though I was PETRIFIED of what I would see when I illuminated my terrors (I mean, who wants to look under the beds or in the closets or in the dark and creepy garages of our lives--terr-i-fying!).  And I'm telling you, there's some real ugliness there and I keep finding new things to look under in my mind and I'm still scared.  But I've learned more than anything else, that it is way better to turn, bed, open up and look than to run and hide.

Because what you discover is that you are brave and that there is a whole wide world out there of light and knowledge and help and laughter and joy and peace and enoughness for everyone.

So be brave and light a candle in your life.  Don't let that darkness win.




Intention report: I drank almost enough water today and still haven't read a blasted thing (tomorrow!) and there's still time for a good calm open prayer . . . I think?







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