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Showing posts with the label life disappointment discouragement unemployment nightmares

Not According to Plan

The most interesting part of my writing every day (all six days of it) is how it is a barometer of my emotions.  They go up and down and all over the place.  Today I am feeling  . . . weepy.  Not sad or unhappy, just a little weepy.  I used to think it was hormones, but I've been tracking it and it happens to me all over the month.  Some times, our hearts are just a little tender. I guess today just about marks the six month anniversary of our unemployment.  That is a long time.  It's gone both slow and strangely fast.  The thing that I've noticed the most is that I have little to almost no expectations of anything.  At first, I thought everything was a sign.  A phone call, a friends new job, a odd connection or anxious interview were all signs of some amazing job.  Now, well, now, I just focus on this very exact moment and what needs to be done in that moment or what I can do.  I don't even notice for the most part what...