The Phoenix: Epicuriousmothering Rising

  There is something that just rubs me wrong when I hear people talk about how great this Covid time has been for them.  I want to grab their shoulders and shake them and yell, "What are you talking about? It's horrible!  I can NOT understand you. At. All."   It's that little devil inside me that rears its ugly head.  I am somewhat horrified by my reaction to people's joy during this time and I hate that I have that reaction.  INXS had it right and I am profoundly aware of the truth of their song "Devil Inside."  Really, every single one of us really does have a devil inside and during these days, my devil is totally winning. I don't want it to win.  I want  to be happy for people who have loved this Covid time, who have thrived, and prospered and all good things have come to them.  I want  to understand them and joy with them, but I don't.  I just bite my tongue and try to change the subject because I don't want to seem u...

Despite everything, we’ve made it to the beach.  This has been Piper’s fondest dream since Covid started.  We had to cancel two other beach vacations during these months and it’s crushed her. She has told us that the sun and the water and the sky and the smells and the sounds of the ocean—it feeds her soul.  Throughout these months, she has done so well: her grades have, if anything, gone up; she’s exercising; eating well; and generally pretty happy despite the million and one changes she’s had to deal with on a daily basis.  But every once and a while, this cloud will hover over her; she is quiet and reserved and won’t talk to us.   I hate those moments as a mama—I know that they mean she is deeply unhappy.   So when she begged us, after our third trip was cancelled, to please, even if it’s just for a few days, find us a place by the beach (she didn’t care if it was a shack—her words), could we please please please make it happen?  I said yes. Of cour...