F(e)ast Day

Of all the things my religion asks of me, I find Fasting once a month the hardest.

I know, I've never drunk or smoked or drank coffee so I probably don't know what I'm missing and then I might say those things.  But the truth is, I haven't and I don't miss them.  Especially as I try to live a cleaner and cleaner life in general with everything I put in my body, I find that I am more and more grateful for my rather moderate way of life (I still LOVE looooovveee sugar . . . and white flour . . . so I have a ways to go).

Fasting.  The goal is to go two meals or 24 hours and give what you would have spent on those meals to the poor in the form of a "fast offering."  Once you are baptized at age 8, you're asked to begin practicing the law of the fast.  As a child, my parents, recent converts to the church, when the whole 24 hours.  We ate a good lunch at 1pm Saturday and then didn't eat or drink again until 1pm Sunday after church.  Imagine if you will, a skinny 10 year old going 24 hours without eating or drinking.  Child abuse, right?  My mom would let us drink of course if we felt crappy or eat a scrap of bread. But they really emphasized what we were doing here--giving up two meals so that someone else could have them.  We go 29 days with more food than we know what to do with, and one day of that month, we sacrifice so that we can offer up our food to others.  Even as a small child, I began to understand what plenty meant and more especially what want meant.  It helped . . . a little.

We also believe that it gives us a time to be free of the bodily stuff and lets us focus on the things of the divine.  It gives us time to also offer special prayers for those we are concerned about or feel need special divine help.  It is another offering, our hearts, as we make this sacrifice.

Now, this all sounds wonderful and it quite frankly blows my mind away each month, but it unbelievably hard.  I almost passed out on Sunday as I was teaching the Primary.  Everything went a little dark and I got sweaty and I thought, Oh great, I'm going to keel over in front of all these kids . . . oh, well, at least it will get their attention!  All you can think about, half the time, is what bread, just bread (forget the butter and jam) tasted like in your mouth.  You dream about water, cool water trickling down your throat and you swallow your warm spit and think, Oh, my kingdom for a glass of water.

And that's the coolest part of all, because it's right there in your faucet and the bread is right there in your drawer or counter top or where ever you keep it.  But you choose, with a LOT of will power (and in my children's case, a LOT of moaning and lamenting) to walk away.  You're choosing for a few hours a month, to sacrifice your most basic needs so that someone else (and depending on how much you give--LOTS of someone elses) can have them.  We're asked, basically, to stop thinking about our own cravings and think about someone else.

It's one of the most powerful things I do and I observe my children doing.  We let our children make the choice of whether or not they want to fast (and many months they grab a piece of bread and have a sip or two of water--but they're still learning) and we talk about places in the world where there is hunger and suffering and how our offering of money goes straight to them--or sometimes to people who live close beside us--and alleviates their suffering.  We talk about who we know who could use our heart felt prayers and how that could (in theory) help us make it through those final two hours (the hardest two hours of the month).

To be frank, we're all limp, stuttering, absentminded idiots by the end of the Fast.  We're cranky and dizzy and just the smell of the food alone makes us sigh and in Piper's case moan over and over again.  I just can't smell this deliciousness!  She will cry, holding onto the counter for dramatic (we think) affect.  It's soooooo GOOOOOOD!  Why must you torture me so?!  The she staggers downstairs to collapse in a heap on the couch and watch another Disney movie.

So yeah, Fasting in our house is not a place of deep contemplation and smiles.  We're human and we are FEELING that human hunger and thirst with a wild ferocity.

Which is the point John always makes as we're sitting around the dinner table, heavy, practically groaning under the weight of our fasting mind's fancies (of course we want three desserts, and two veggies, and heck yeah we need six cups of rice and a 10 lbs roast for the six of us, and don't forget the 36 rolls).  He makes us all stop and look at the steaming food and the abundance we have and he reminds us, very quietly and with such wonder, that this is more food than most of the world will ever see.
And this, guys, he says, is what we get EVERY day.  And we don't have to worry about war.  We get to stay together as a family.  You all have an education.  We have this huge house.  We have all these clothes--more than we know what to do with. Cars to take us anywhere we want and money to go there.  We are BLESSED.  Let's remember this, this month, ok?  Let's remember what this gnawing hunger and thirst feels like and be thankful.  Ok?

The children all looking at him say, EVERY SINGLE MONTH, Yeah! Totally! Are-you-done-yet-so-we-can-eat-this-foooooooooddddddd?!

And after the worlds shortest prayer, we dive in.  All of us.  John and I always go for the water, the kids always go for the rolls.  And I'm telling you, it's the BEST drink of water the whole month!

And this . . . (look at the pictures below) is what our feast was this Sunday.

I'm giving you recipes, because . . . everyone needs to know how to F(e)ast!

SAVORY ROAST (from John's Grandma Rasmussen clipped out of the paper a thousand years ago and a favorite of all)

 

This is the huge Roast that we almost totally CONSUMED (I find I like lean chuck roasts the best--but any will do).

So you salt and pepper it as you see--both sides.

 

Then you brown in in a little bit of oil in a dutch oven (I really like to make it in a dutch oven, but you can also use just a heavy metal pot with a lid)

Then you make the sauce:

1/2 c ketchup

1/2 c red wine vingar

1/4 c soy sauce

1/4 c Worcestershire sauce 

2 tsp dijon mustard

1/2 tsp garlic poweder

1-2 tsp dried Rosemary

Mix it all together and pour over the hunk of meat and cover and turn on medium low to low (depending on how hot your burners are--you want a low simmer) for 3-4 hours.

And then. . . while that's simmering:  Take out at least 30 Rhodes Rolls and let them rise (it takes that long--and you want to prep them by putting them in a warmish oven for a while).

 

 And then, because it's F(e)ast Sunday, you make the most delicious Blondies in the world. Or really any of the recipes on that Cache (click on Blondies and it will link you right there)

World’s Best Blondes

Ingredients:

·      Melted butter and flour for the pan

·      8 tbsp (1 stick) unsalted butter at room temperature

·      3/4 c packed dark brown sugar

·      1 large egg

·      1 tsp Vanilla

·      1 c flour (all purpose)

·      1/2 tsp baking soda

·      1/2 tsp salt

·      1/2 c. macadamia nuts

·      1/2 c. coarsely chopped white chocolate (or white chocolate chips)

·      Directions:

·      Preheat oven to 350.

·      Butter 8 by 8-inch pan.

·      Line bottom of pan with parchment paper (you don't have to do this, but it makes clean up and serving so much easier) leaving 2 inches around the edges.  Butter and flour the parchment paper.

·      In a small skillet, melt the butter over medium heat.  Cook for 2 minutes, or until the butter is golden with little bits of brown spots.  

·      Immediately remove from heat and transfer to a bowl.  

·      Whisk in the brown sugar.  

·      Whisk in the egg and vanilla

·      Stir in flour, baking soda, and salt.  Fold in nuts and white chocolate chips.  

·      Pour into pan.

·      Bake for 18-25 minutes--or until a tooth pick inserted in the middle, comes out with little crumbs clinging to it.  

·      Let cool for about 10 minutes and then pull out with the parchment and cut and serve . . . I promise, if you bring this anywhere, they'll be gone in minutes.  Heaven!

Just a note--it's hard to tell when the butter is ready--I took this picture so you could see how there are brown flecks on the bottom--that's what you're looking for.

 

 

 And this my friends, is what the dough looks like as you stir in the white chocolate chunks.  They're soooo good!

 

This is the finished roast--minus the gravy (which is being made by me while John does the meat).

 

And we had Summer Squash--soo good!  I just cook it at 350 for 45 or so minutes, de-seaded and face down.  Then I add a little (ok a LOT) of butter and brown sugar and mix it up in the skins.

 

This is my plate--mid snarfing.  Worth the wait.  

And when I was done, after I had gone back for thirds and fourths, I did think, I am so grateful that each month I get to know what hunger feels like so I can know how blasted good being full feels like.

I'm telling you, without knowing the darkness, we cannot know the light.