About a year and a half ago, I decided that I was going to do my own 40 days of Yoga. My sister went to one at her local yoga studio and it sounded awesome. I was too cheap and busy and impatient to sign up for one at my local studio. So with my friend, we started a 40 days of yoga challenges with DVDs and youtube videos (a list will be coming . . . don't you worry). Soon several other friends joined in (some more faithfully than others). We did yoga 5 days a week for 8 weeks and . . . it totally changed my life.
Really. Changed. My. Life.
Physically . . . well, lets just say that I discovered that there are all these lovely little muscles in your legs and arms and belly that I had no idea I had. My posture is kick butt better. And how I feel about myself? I really like my body. It's not perfect. Splits are a challenge. It took me six months after the challenge to do a good headstand. The jump handstand . . . months of practice. Side crow . .. still working on. Bird of Paradise? Only when it's like a million degrees and I've practiced. The rest of the pretzel forms, nope. Not happening. And that's ok. Because I've learned to say, It's my practice. It's ok. I can do what I can do and I showed up today. I got on my mat and that is enough.
That's what got into my brain. The word Enough. I am enough. John is enough. My family whatever shape and form they are and we are, it's ok. We are enough. All of us, just as we are, are enough. Wheph. I mean, this is HUGE. I can breath so much more freely. I get angry much less and when I do, I stop, breath and think, WAIT a second . . . what is REALLY going on here? SLOW DOWN.
That's what it's taught my heart. Slow down. You can't get into any pose quickly and I'm a quick person. I'd rather run upstairs than walk. I do almost everything fast. But yoga, it' can't be done fast. You breath slowly, in and out, as you move your body from one nearly impossible stance to the next, you have to move deliberately. In fact, the slower and more controlled you go . . . the better you can get into the poses and find your balance and center.
And that's who I've become--so much more balanced and aware of a center. I find that I'm ok when plans don't go according to plan. I laugh a lot easier at the silliness of my mistakes and those of others. We're all traveling down this road together and we all need help along the way. The way to make our path easier and more smooth is to help others along their way. I know, we've all been taught this, but I'm practicing it. And it's way amazingly true . . . the more I look around me, the more I see how much the world needs smiles, hugs, and words of affirmation and affection.
Does that mean I walk around singing "alm" and talking in quiet calm voices?
Sadly no (maybe if I do it for 900 days). I'm not that quiet. In fact, half the time I think a more apt description of yoga at my house is CHOGA (chatty-yoga). Somedays, we mostly fall over laughing so hard at what each other is saying. Then for a while my friend did TOGA (texting-yoga) but we decided that was pretty dangerous and to only do that in extreme moments of MUST-REPLY-THIS-INSTANT.
I know, that doesn't sound like yoga. That sounds like a party. Aren't you supposed to leave your phones at home? Let go of the world and focus on your breathing and BEING? No talky-talky. Focus. Center. Be Present.
Well, when you've got like 20 kids between you all, and they've just gone to school, the phone is attached to your hip. So they're beside our mats and mostly we ignore them, but we've also realized that this is OUR PRACTICE. And it's with phones and chatting and laughter and some periodic texting. Sometimes there's breathing (especially when we do a serious Power Yoga class--we're panting) and silence, but not often. And we STILL get a good work out in. Our bodies are still strong and our souls are fed.
This actually was/is the best thing I've learned since I've been doing serious Yoga--there isn't one way to practice. There are a million. It's what YOUR practice is.
I am fundamentally changed.
When I began my 40 days, I'd been doing yoga a few times a week for a decade or so. I didn't think I'd change or feel much different. But after a few weeks, I found that not only was my body stronger, but I felt lighter. Honestly, lighter. My thoughts were lighter. My love for everyone flowed.
I think that everyone who did those 40 days, however sporadically, would agree that they came away a little lighter and more willing to love freely--especially ourselves.
A few weeks ago as I was practicing, the teacher read this quote:
Twenty years from now
you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn’t do
than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
--Mark Twain
I got chills. What is keeping me moored that needs to be cast off so I can sail? And how do I cast off? What do I need to do?
Well, my biggest fear/regret/weight/joy is writing. I love it. I LOVE words. I love their power, their potency and their soothing balm. I love stories and I really like my stories. But I'm also scared of them. I scared of how exposed I am when I put them out there. I'm scared of rejection, criticism, and most of all apathy. There are a million writers out there believing they're writing something worth reading and most don't get a second look.
So why even try?
Why cast off into this unpredictable or super terrifying sea?
Because . . . (very very scared, terrified and maybe a little excited face) it's an adventure. And if practicing yoga very intently for almost two year has taught me something, it's that you will NEVER do a headstand if you don't DO A HEADSTAND.
So here I go . . . I'm casting off the bowlines. I'm beginning a new practice. For the next 40 days, I'm going to write everyday.
You all are so lucky because I'm telling you, I've got A LOT to write. Wait till you read about how what I feel/think of parenting and marriage . . . it's rough. And friends? And being a teenager and raising teenagers? And we haven't even started on the sweet ride of unemployment. Or money management or disappointment or even the proper way to clean out a closet (throw everything away!).
Oh, yeah. Buckle in because the next 40 days are going to be epic.
Join my journey.
Write with me.
Explore.
Dream.
Discover!
Really. Changed. My. Life.
Physically . . . well, lets just say that I discovered that there are all these lovely little muscles in your legs and arms and belly that I had no idea I had. My posture is kick butt better. And how I feel about myself? I really like my body. It's not perfect. Splits are a challenge. It took me six months after the challenge to do a good headstand. The jump handstand . . . months of practice. Side crow . .. still working on. Bird of Paradise? Only when it's like a million degrees and I've practiced. The rest of the pretzel forms, nope. Not happening. And that's ok. Because I've learned to say, It's my practice. It's ok. I can do what I can do and I showed up today. I got on my mat and that is enough.
That's what got into my brain. The word Enough. I am enough. John is enough. My family whatever shape and form they are and we are, it's ok. We are enough. All of us, just as we are, are enough. Wheph. I mean, this is HUGE. I can breath so much more freely. I get angry much less and when I do, I stop, breath and think, WAIT a second . . . what is REALLY going on here? SLOW DOWN.
That's what it's taught my heart. Slow down. You can't get into any pose quickly and I'm a quick person. I'd rather run upstairs than walk. I do almost everything fast. But yoga, it' can't be done fast. You breath slowly, in and out, as you move your body from one nearly impossible stance to the next, you have to move deliberately. In fact, the slower and more controlled you go . . . the better you can get into the poses and find your balance and center.
And that's who I've become--so much more balanced and aware of a center. I find that I'm ok when plans don't go according to plan. I laugh a lot easier at the silliness of my mistakes and those of others. We're all traveling down this road together and we all need help along the way. The way to make our path easier and more smooth is to help others along their way. I know, we've all been taught this, but I'm practicing it. And it's way amazingly true . . . the more I look around me, the more I see how much the world needs smiles, hugs, and words of affirmation and affection.
Does that mean I walk around singing "alm" and talking in quiet calm voices?
Sadly no (maybe if I do it for 900 days). I'm not that quiet. In fact, half the time I think a more apt description of yoga at my house is CHOGA (chatty-yoga). Somedays, we mostly fall over laughing so hard at what each other is saying. Then for a while my friend did TOGA (texting-yoga) but we decided that was pretty dangerous and to only do that in extreme moments of MUST-REPLY-THIS-INSTANT.
I know, that doesn't sound like yoga. That sounds like a party. Aren't you supposed to leave your phones at home? Let go of the world and focus on your breathing and BEING? No talky-talky. Focus. Center. Be Present.
Well, when you've got like 20 kids between you all, and they've just gone to school, the phone is attached to your hip. So they're beside our mats and mostly we ignore them, but we've also realized that this is OUR PRACTICE. And it's with phones and chatting and laughter and some periodic texting. Sometimes there's breathing (especially when we do a serious Power Yoga class--we're panting) and silence, but not often. And we STILL get a good work out in. Our bodies are still strong and our souls are fed.
This actually was/is the best thing I've learned since I've been doing serious Yoga--there isn't one way to practice. There are a million. It's what YOUR practice is.
I am fundamentally changed.
When I began my 40 days, I'd been doing yoga a few times a week for a decade or so. I didn't think I'd change or feel much different. But after a few weeks, I found that not only was my body stronger, but I felt lighter. Honestly, lighter. My thoughts were lighter. My love for everyone flowed.
I think that everyone who did those 40 days, however sporadically, would agree that they came away a little lighter and more willing to love freely--especially ourselves.
A few weeks ago as I was practicing, the teacher read this quote:
Twenty years from now
you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn’t do
than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
--Mark Twain
I got chills. What is keeping me moored that needs to be cast off so I can sail? And how do I cast off? What do I need to do?
Well, my biggest fear/regret/weight/joy is writing. I love it. I LOVE words. I love their power, their potency and their soothing balm. I love stories and I really like my stories. But I'm also scared of them. I scared of how exposed I am when I put them out there. I'm scared of rejection, criticism, and most of all apathy. There are a million writers out there believing they're writing something worth reading and most don't get a second look.
So why even try?
Why cast off into this unpredictable or super terrifying sea?
Because . . . (very very scared, terrified and maybe a little excited face) it's an adventure. And if practicing yoga very intently for almost two year has taught me something, it's that you will NEVER do a headstand if you don't DO A HEADSTAND.
So here I go . . . I'm casting off the bowlines. I'm beginning a new practice. For the next 40 days, I'm going to write everyday.
You all are so lucky because I'm telling you, I've got A LOT to write. Wait till you read about how what I feel/think of parenting and marriage . . . it's rough. And friends? And being a teenager and raising teenagers? And we haven't even started on the sweet ride of unemployment. Or money management or disappointment or even the proper way to clean out a closet (throw everything away!).
Oh, yeah. Buckle in because the next 40 days are going to be epic.
Join my journey.
Write with me.
Explore.
Dream.
Discover!
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