Breaking/Broken

Ok, quick update on my intentions: 

I've been drinking 8 cups of water and with my love of moving, I think I've got to up the cups.  But I feel so much better and I have to say, I think skin might already be looking better (is this possible?).  

I read this insanely inspiring article in my 10 minutes if brain bending reading.  Made me cry and feel proud and WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD.  I love feeling that way.  
 As for my prayers--honestly, I'm THE WORST at this.  So it was a really good intention.  But I read this quote today on instagram:  

"The object of our prayers should not be to present a wish list or a series of requests but to secure for ourselves and for others blessing that God is eager to bestow, according to His will and timing.  Every sincere prayer is heard and answered by our Heavenly Father, but the answers we receive may not be what we expect or come to us when we want or in the way we anticipate . . . Prayer is a privilege and the soul's sincere desire . . . "  --David A Bednar

I love this.  I believe this.  I will (someday) practice this.


Yesterday morning as I was making Finn's birthday cake and using a cup measure to scoop up some flour, the handle snapped and broke.  I held it up and then looked over at Celia who was sitting at the counter.  She looked at me and then at the broken cup and then we both shrugged and I threw it out.

"It seems like everything is breaking, huh?" she said.

"Yep," I said as I picked up another mostly broken measuring cup and went on with measuring.

"So this other job, Dad said something about, a start-up that would pay nothing?" Celia said.

"Yeah?" I asked, pouring the flour into the bowl and turning on the mixer.

"When you say, 'nothing' what are we talking here?"

"Well, pretty much not much.  You know, we'd live really creatively and using up everything and just being careful.  Kind of exactly how we're living now," I said, greasing the bundt pan.

Celia mumbled something that I didn't hear.  So I turned around and said, "What?"

"Mom," she said looking at me and shaking her head a little, "Uh, we're not living so great right now.  Did you not just see what you just did.  You threw out like one of our last measuring cups.  Everything in our house is broken." 

I couldn't help it.  I laughed as I grabbed tightly to our dishwasher door to put my dirty pans in (it's broken and if you let it go, the whole counter top shudders with the crash of it falling down).  

She was completely right.  There are a lot of things that are broken . . . or mostly broken.

I thought about how we have honestly like 10 cups left after a rash of breakage from all our kids not being so careful with them.  Finn's jeans are all too small for him, but I'm just making do because they'll be perfect cut offs in a few weeks, right? All winter the girls have squeezed their big old feet into boots a size or three too small for them, and until a few weeks ago, Celia had been using ski pants that were honestly, three sizes too small for her.  Poor tall girl.  They NEVER complain, they just make do. Poor babies. Making do . . . might be a wee bit harder for them than I thought.

"We're not cursed.  Things break all the time.  I just usually replace the stuff.  But we right now, we're not.  I mean, really, how many measuring cups do we need?"

"Uh, Mom, more than ONE . . ." she said pointedly looking at our one remaining half broken measuring cup.

"Yeah, you might be right," I told her and for some reason we both sort of laughed and that was that.

I keep thinking about it because I think it sums up the hard and the good things that are going on right now.  The kids don't love how we live right now, but I think they're thriving despite it. 

Finn came to me yesterday morning and said, "Well, I don't have any shorts that fit me, but I've got these pants with holes in the knees, so can I make them into shorts?"  Heck, yeah, I said.  And off he went only to reemerge 5 minutes later with darling red cut off shorts.

And I think we've all rediscovered clothes that had been shoved into the back of the closet--creativity thrives within confines (Tim Gunn would totally agree) and limitations.  The girls never cease to amaze me at what they wear every day--and I honestly haven't seen the same combo twice--because they always look DARLING!  And me, well I feel more fashionable (when, that is, I shower--haven't yet today . . . but I have hope, and dress) than I have in years.  I feel inspired and challenged (sometimes VERY CHALLENGED). 

And for the rest, well, lets just say that we have a LONG list of "When Dad/John gets a job, we will buy/replace/fix/go . . ."

For today, I'm really grateful for creative kids who think small and dream big and know that even though everything might be breaking, they're not.