The Phoenix: Epicuriousmothering Rising

I woke up yesterday morning, Saturday (or the same day I've woken up to for who knows how many day . . . totally lost count. . . Groundhog Day), and literally thought, Everything's  not  awesome.  This is hard.  I am discouraged. I feel overwhelmed. Celia got a call Thursday that one of her friends in SLC who she ate lunch with on Wednesday has had possible contact with the virus.  He lives with his brother who found out his coworker (the brother's coworker) has tested positive.  Who knows how close the contact really was or what the chances are, but it's thrown Celia for a loop.  She's so careful when she comes home from work to change and wash and do everything she can, but she couldn't control for that.  She feels guilt and fear and worry. What if, she said, I've infected you all? These are the things our children who work are dealing with.  The guilt and worry.  Not to mention online classes (college) and so many opportunities and missed progression.

So I go this from a friend today and literally could not stop laughing: Because for reals . . . I've been looking in the mirror, and each day I think I age about 10 years.  No joke.  I'm out of my special night cream (it works miracles . . . Derma-e anti aging . ..I'll tell you more about it later) and I haven't been able to go get my monthly facial and I think I'm forgetting to even wash my face let alone lotion it . . .  So really, I look like Sue.  Only I'm 45, so I'm more like an Egyptian mummy . . .  What are you guys doing without?   I don't think of myself as a vain person or even a high-maintenance person, but holy cow, turns out I just MIGHT be. My nails, without their every few weeks appointment, look horrible.  Who knew that under my years of toe polish are some really ugly, not so healthy nails?  Oh . . . and my poor finger nails.   But those are all easily hidden to the public eye . . . my hair . . . NOT SO MUCH.

I am going to weigh 900 pounds by the end of this. The first five days, I was in shock and fear and worry and I didn't eat.  These last five days . . . lets just say it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say all I've done is eat.   Forget healthy stuff,  I want CARBS.  Not pictured is the bundt cake (ate it too fast) and double recipe of chocolate chip cookies (gone gone gone).  And chips, oh how I love my salty flavorful chips . . . Because, lets face it, we all need something good in our lives right now.  Mine might be cookies and Doritos. Yours might be carrots and celery (you go!).  What ever it is, doesn't it feels wonderful to gather around warm/delicious things and share them and enjoy something together.  We are REALLY enjoying our time together these day? Well . . . sort of.  We are all at loose ends.  John's used being gone all day, and during that day super busy.  I'm used to being home alone for about six hours where I'm run

Wow. This month . . . it's been CRAZY. This is me and John . . . two weeks ago. Two weeks ago today, we were driving around Costa Rica on these old dirt roads and crazy steep turns and twists and holes and beaches that stretch on forever with little turtle eggs just hatched and sun and heat forever.  It was dreamy in every way.  Except . . .  Underneath it all . . . there was a sobering knowledge that things were spreading and fear was mounting.  We tried to push it away, but all the news, when we looked at it was bad.  Then the text from airlines started scaring us.  We never discussed it, but there was a real fear that we wouldn't be able to get home.  OR if we would get home, we'd have to stay away from our kids for two weeks.   Flying the Wednesday, March 11 (or before the world as we knew it ended), was a somber and worrisome experience.  Everyone was serious.  Everyone kept their distance from you.  In the bathrooms, people washed their hands