The Phoenix: Epicuriousmothering Rising

I hate snakes. It is completely irrational and silly, but the sight of a slithering snake brings wild screams out of me and I do the mad jumping dance that leaves me panting and my legs shaky.  I see probably one or maybe two a year. This year, I have seen one nearly every single time I have gone outside. Every.  Single.  Time. And I swear to you, it's the same one. Today, as I was chatting away with my friend as we jogged down our favorite, and super traveled (hiked, biked, ran) trail, the stick right below us twisted and withdrew and jerked. Yep, right below us as we sailed over it, was my friend, Mr. Fat Long and Feisty Gopher Snake (he is male. . . all snakes are male).  He twisted and I swear tried to nip at my friends heals (I has leaping over his tail--hallelujah). When we came to a stop ten feet away, panting and possibly still screaming, we turned and watched him look over at us, frustrated with us for ruining his lovely sunny nap.  Then

We have escaped—my sister’s beautiful home . ..  I feel so grateful . .. and also, you can totally see my crooked nose (darn swing). It’s so easy to count the ways life right now is hard.  Right?  I think we are all on this crazy roller coaster—good days, ok days, and then just plane old blah days.  I had a few blah days for the past weeks watching my kids adjust to the idea that summer wasn’t going to be the summer we had planned and yet more disappointments were ahead. On Monday when Finnegan was officially done with all school work, we found him at 8:15am on the couch moaning.   “What’s going on?”we asked. “It’s 8:15am,” he yelled out, his voice breaking twice as only a thirteen year old boy can, “and I’m BOARED to death!!” I looked at John and he looked at me and we both felt this moment of panic.  It was May 17 for heavens sake, how were we going to do a whole summer?  And maybe a fall too? Right then and there I wanted to go back to bed and wake up in

Things are better.  They’ve begun to open restaurants and stores.  More people are out and we can gather in groups of 20 and everyone is gathering.  There is a feeling of joy in the air—of relief and resolve and determination.  It’s kind of amazing to witness.  Yes, our numbers are pretty much staying steady, but they’re not spiking like crazy (yet) and we have hope mixed with the rather grim knowledge that Covid-19 isn’t really going anywhere. We are just learning to live with it’s costs and demands. It’s not comfortable.  Wearing a mask is literally suffocating and I feel like I’ve got deaf and dumb.  No one can hear me and I sure as heck can’t understand what anyone else is saying.  But I’m learning how to see the crinkles around peoples eyes to know they’re smiling.  I’m looking at eyes and eyebrows to sense emotions and I think I’m gettin good at it.  I think for the most part, I see sparkly crinkly eyes of smiles. The bravery and optimism is amazing to me.  Each t