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Showing posts from July, 2015

For Happiness

I was lying on hammock tonight, big heavy clouds over head, the wind blowing through the trees above my head and the grass under my foot as I pushed myself.  I thought, This is happiness. I am full, but not too full.  I am warm, but not hot.  All my people are home and around me and everyone is, if not perfectly happy, they are calm.  I have clean windows (thank you random window cleaning men). A cleanish house.  I have had hours with my kids at the pool (perhaps for the last time in a long time) and hold the title of walking the longest underwater on my hand record. Yes.  A happy husband (a thing to be treasured).  A quiet evening.  A moment to just sit and be still. Yes. This. Is. Happiness. I feel the blessing of this like a comforting weight around my shoulders.  I know so well what it is like to feel the absence of happiness.  I know what it is like to feel fear, worry, hurt, sorrow, pain, anguish, regret, and anger.  So I know how precious this moment is.  I know righ

I love

I love summer evenings with thunder clouds rumbling in the distance, brining fresh cool mountain air and relief from the heat. I love tan feet. I love O Hello Pandora station. I love fresh baked crusty bread with nuts and white chocolate and challah bread with sugar sprinkled over top and crusty baguette and fresh cold water and grapes and good cheese. I love the smell of Finnegan's neck when he nuzzles into me. I love how strong Henry is and how he gets quiet when he knows I'm telling him something that means so much to me it hurts to tell it. I love surprises that I don't think I love at first. I love Phoebe's laugh when she's laughing at herself. I love Celia talking about the books she reading . . . I love that she reads.  Miracles, it turns out, happen. I love Piper's constant handling of her hamster.  CONSTANT HANDLING. I love John. I love that love evolves and is at times rather pocky and so real it scares you and so soft and gentle