The Phoenix: Epicuriousmothering Rising

I grew up in the backwoods (literally) of Connecticut (so a sort of well educated backwoods). My grandmother and aunts had goats.  We had chickens.  We all had dogs and cats that wondered around at will and in the summer, my house was surrounded by trees so thick you couldn't see anything but green when you looked out the windows.  But when I was very young, I guess we didn't look out the windows much at all.  Mostly, I guess, we just sat in our basement and watched TV. My dad in a fit of passion (I can so relate to him), literally picked up the TV and threw it out the door.  He did not, it turns out, like how we didn't do anything but watch the BOOB TUBE as he called it. Did this totally stop us? I'm afraid not. This meant we all went down to our grandmother's as a result on Friday nights to watch Fantasy Island and Dukes of Hazard and The Hulk. We all squished on the two recliners and sprawled on the floor to watch her tiny 13" TV with at best mon...

I just finished two TED talks about strangers.  The first talked about how much we benefit from actually making eye contact, having a conversation, and actually being vulnerable with them is to our minds, hearts, and souls.  The second was about altruistic people and what makes someone altruistic . . . and can altruism be learned? As I was chopping away at my flower patch that is not mostly just taken over by Black-Eyed Susans, I thought about strangers and what I was taught about stranger and how I feel about them now. Here is before . . . And here is after . . .  I know, it's hard to tell, but if you look really hard you can . . . I promise . . . at least I hope . . . But back to strangers.  As I was listening I immediately thought of this super long flight I was on from Calgary to Connecticut (honestly, like about as far apart as you can get).  I was 7 3/4 months pregnant with Finnegan flying out to go to my grandmother's funer...

What I miss the very mostest about being young is that ability to forget everything but the very moment you are in. If you are tired, you sleep. If you are hungry, you eat. If you want to read, you pick up a book and read. If you want to watch a movie/show/tv, you sit your little butt down and watch. If you're a mama, you have to think about nine thousand things before you do anything. If you are tired, you stay tired because you just don't have time to sleep. If you are hungry, you'd better go grocery shopping and get cooking because no one is really going to eat if you don't. If you want to read . . . well, you always want to read, but the laundry, cleaning, weeding, talking, caring, fixing, loving must happen before that happens. If you want to watch a movie, well, you can try, but really, you probably will just fall asleep. And be so happy for that sleep because you know, if you're me and you only watch tv with your whole family surrounding y...

For the last three days, I've felt like my life is enchanted. The weather has been stormy and calm, cloudy and full of sunshine and it seems to match my moods perfectly. I've honestly found myself thinking, Yes, God, finally I get weather to match me!  Thank you!  (Because, of course everything is about ME). The children are all happy. I am sleeping like a new born baby. I have time to both read AND visit and the people I want to be with have time to be with me and it's worked out. I'm not so worried about schedules or getting places or things done.  Mostly, I'm just happy letting life flow around me and letting what is, is. I've had energy to work out and don't feel too exhausted afterwards--in fact often, I find I have more energy than before. When I've gone to do my six errands in one hour, I've gotten every. single. one. done. Unheard of. And I was happy doing it.  Honestly, didn't run into one line that sidelined me. I...

While I was running in the pouring rain today, I kept thinking about writing.  In fact, when it was pouring pouring pouring and the temperature dropped like 10 degrees and I started losing feeling in my fingers, I began writing this post in my mind.  It was really really good.  I laughed and cried and thought Gees, you're such a great writer Mary! (Yes, I can in fact fool myself).  Only now . . . I can't really remember much I wrote in my mind.  Darn mind.  Speaking of minds, May turns mine to mush.  Between allergies (thank you beautiful budding trees . . . I lovingly Hate You) and the insane end of year recitals and school demands, I can't keep anything straight.  Everything is going sideways and I'm barely holding on.  I honestly think every single May, I am officially going crazy.  Then school ends, June comes cool and calm and there aren't really any demands and I get to remember how to breath. No joke, I actually honestly get s...

Kindness. It's like the most wonderful thing ever. But so is honesty and sometimes, I like it even more than kindness. I think we often, in the fear of being unkind, are not honest when we should be.  This lack of honesty creates all sorts of bad behaviors in ourselves and in our friends and family and people we interact with. Lots of crap situations happen because we are too afraid of just telling the truth--even if it's hard to hear or say.  Lately, well, this year, I've been really working on examining myself and truth and honesty and kindness and how I interact.  I've come to a few realizations, but first, let me define honesty. To me, honesty is when we tell what's inside our hearts and let what is important to us be known.  Honesty is NOT an excuse to say, Yeah, let me be honest, you're a crap sister or you're a bad husband or you really DON'T understand how to do your hair.  No, being honest is saying, I don't think I can actually be r...

Yesterday I sat with my face to the sun for hours.  It was the perfect temperature--mid 70s--with a gentle breeze that came exactly the moment when it got too hot.  I was surrounded by my children, John and my sister and her family.  We all listened to wise advice and beautiful music and felt the peacefulness and calming that comes from being reminded that we are not alone in the universe and that we are loved and that we are capable of greatness. And I was also sick and so were all of us.  Finn has goopy eye that weeps white stuff and all of us have sore throats and an excess of mucus.  It's icky in every way.  But yesterday, while I sat in the sun and listened, I felt at peace. And this morning as I did a hard yoga practice with Anne in the sunshine as the wind outside literally shook the house and made it moan, I still felt it.  As I went from pose to pose, I thought about how hard yoga is (for those of you who think it's easy . . . please,...