For the last three days, I've felt like my life is enchanted.
The weather has been stormy and calm, cloudy and full of sunshine and it seems to match my moods perfectly. I've honestly found myself thinking, Yes, God, finally I get weather to match me! Thank you! (Because, of course everything is about ME).
The children are all happy.
I am sleeping like a new born baby.
I have time to both read AND visit and the people I want to be with have time to be with me and it's worked out.
I'm not so worried about schedules or getting places or things done. Mostly, I'm just happy letting life flow around me and letting what is, is.
I've had energy to work out and don't feel too exhausted afterwards--in fact often, I find I have more energy than before.
When I've gone to do my six errands in one hour, I've gotten every. single. one. done.
Unheard of.
And I was happy doing it. Honestly, didn't run into one line that sidelined me.
I've had time to be with my children outside, laughing and visiting and enjoying the green and growth and our world outside.
I like my hair and face and me.
I feel this great calm and peace.
All of this is true.
But it's also one side to the story. It's the side I've chosen to look at and focus on and see.
Not the fact that John's in Switzerland during this INSANE last week of school. That I've driven to SLC to get my TSA approval and forgotten my passport at home on the counter. Or that I've been late to everything because of one or more dramas with kids. Or that Phoebe has been in rare form and snapping at me. OR that every time Piper or Finn sneeze their entire face gets covered in boogers and we've gone through five FIVE boxes of tissues. And we aren't going to the we are out of money and we have another week to live on. Or the reason I like how I look is because I haven't had time TO look at myself in the mirror or time to eat more than something on the run. Or that I have five loads of laundry to fold (since Monday) but it's just not happening because I'm mama and dada and I've got four kids relying on me.
So . . . which story do you like better?
They're both right. And true, but this week, I decided to just slow down or even stop every time something beautiful or good or happy happened and say, Hey, that was pretty cool. I'm blessed.
That's it.
I didn't do any, You will NOT be negative this week, Mary or You must always look on the bright side. Nope, in fact, I was like, just like you are going to stop and say, Wow and Thanks, to the good things, I give you total permission to be like, Wait. Man, that's weird, hard, discouraging, hurtful, confusing, uncomfortable, and just plane old wrong.
But the funny thing is, when I was sitting out with the kids on Monday night cooking hot dogs over the fire with this beautiful fragrant breeze and all my kids around me and me only taking like 15 minutes to prepare the meal (boil potatoes for potatoe salad, cut up watermelon, tell kids to bring everything outside--boom. done), I felt happy.
I couldn't help but think, you know, even though I didn't get my TSA thing done (and I have to way two weeks for another appointment) and I only slept 3 hours last night and I haven't gotten to the laundry, the weeds, or even showered today, it's all good. I'm here with my kids, we're eating gross hot dogs (sorry, but they're just not my thing) and I've made my kids happier than theyve been in months because they got to choose dinner and how it's made. And I got to do almost nothing.
Win. Win.
And we laughed and laughed and talked about silliness up until it was time to go to bed . . . or way past when it was time to go to bed.
And my lack of sleep and frustrating day, it all melted away.
I slept so well that night, honestly, I'm not kidding, I swear I had a smile on my face.
When I woke up and had to do a little money examination and saw that our accounts were pretty darn low (yep, it takes a minute or ten to recover from unemployment), instead of getting mad and sad (my usual response), I thought, Well, this is great. This means we are going to eat though our full freezer and get creative. Plus, it means more family time and less running around. And thank heavens, we get paid again the end of next week.
I may have had taken a moment after all those happy thoughts flashed through my head--Ahhh, who is this happy person inside me? I do not know you (I want to . . . but still . . . it's a little . . . disconcerting). But I want to get to know you. In fact, could you stay . . . for the rest of my life? Please?
And then yesterday, after that, I had one thing after another with honestly no room to breath, but it was wonderful. Yoga with Lyns. Running with Kristi. Then picking out paint for my sisters house with a darling new friend (my sisters renter). Then I came home and just sat and read for two hours. Yes, I SAT and READ for two hours and it was wonderful. Then off to Finn's Cub Scouts Pack Meeting where I was just floored by how amazing our Pack leaders are. Everyone loved it and I learned about all sorts of animals--Bearded Dragon Lizards LOVE people and are super social. Truth. Then my sweet niece and husband came over and we had this lovely visit planning their sojourn with us this summer. And best of all, Evie came to me and put her arms out for me to pick up FIRST. Could the day have been better? No.
Was it perfect? Heck no, the girls left me with all the dinner dishes and mess to clean up. I didn't get to the laundry and I fell asleep before the house was locked up and all the lights on (thank goodness we live here) and about a thousand other things that made me feel STRONG feelings that were not happy or light or anything but pretty much grrrrrrr.
But I swear, taking a minute to see the good, it's like a grease coating that lets all the anger and crappy things sort of slide right off without penetrating into us.
Could this be true?
Has anyone else tried this and had their days seemed so much easier and lighter and better?
Because I have this feeling, this being present and stopping to notice the good, it's a darn good beginning to a better way of life.
I'm telling you right now, I'm going with this.
Like forever and ever.
Here is my view of the mountains as I was mowing the lawn . . . can you see all the fresh cut grass . . . it smelled like Heaven!
The weather has been stormy and calm, cloudy and full of sunshine and it seems to match my moods perfectly. I've honestly found myself thinking, Yes, God, finally I get weather to match me! Thank you! (Because, of course everything is about ME).
The children are all happy.
I am sleeping like a new born baby.
I have time to both read AND visit and the people I want to be with have time to be with me and it's worked out.
I'm not so worried about schedules or getting places or things done. Mostly, I'm just happy letting life flow around me and letting what is, is.
I've had energy to work out and don't feel too exhausted afterwards--in fact often, I find I have more energy than before.
When I've gone to do my six errands in one hour, I've gotten every. single. one. done.
Unheard of.
And I was happy doing it. Honestly, didn't run into one line that sidelined me.
I've had time to be with my children outside, laughing and visiting and enjoying the green and growth and our world outside.
I like my hair and face and me.
I feel this great calm and peace.
All of this is true.
But it's also one side to the story. It's the side I've chosen to look at and focus on and see.
Not the fact that John's in Switzerland during this INSANE last week of school. That I've driven to SLC to get my TSA approval and forgotten my passport at home on the counter. Or that I've been late to everything because of one or more dramas with kids. Or that Phoebe has been in rare form and snapping at me. OR that every time Piper or Finn sneeze their entire face gets covered in boogers and we've gone through five FIVE boxes of tissues. And we aren't going to the we are out of money and we have another week to live on. Or the reason I like how I look is because I haven't had time TO look at myself in the mirror or time to eat more than something on the run. Or that I have five loads of laundry to fold (since Monday) but it's just not happening because I'm mama and dada and I've got four kids relying on me.
So . . . which story do you like better?
They're both right. And true, but this week, I decided to just slow down or even stop every time something beautiful or good or happy happened and say, Hey, that was pretty cool. I'm blessed.
That's it.
I didn't do any, You will NOT be negative this week, Mary or You must always look on the bright side. Nope, in fact, I was like, just like you are going to stop and say, Wow and Thanks, to the good things, I give you total permission to be like, Wait. Man, that's weird, hard, discouraging, hurtful, confusing, uncomfortable, and just plane old wrong.
But the funny thing is, when I was sitting out with the kids on Monday night cooking hot dogs over the fire with this beautiful fragrant breeze and all my kids around me and me only taking like 15 minutes to prepare the meal (boil potatoes for potatoe salad, cut up watermelon, tell kids to bring everything outside--boom. done), I felt happy.
I couldn't help but think, you know, even though I didn't get my TSA thing done (and I have to way two weeks for another appointment) and I only slept 3 hours last night and I haven't gotten to the laundry, the weeds, or even showered today, it's all good. I'm here with my kids, we're eating gross hot dogs (sorry, but they're just not my thing) and I've made my kids happier than theyve been in months because they got to choose dinner and how it's made. And I got to do almost nothing.
Win. Win.
And we laughed and laughed and talked about silliness up until it was time to go to bed . . . or way past when it was time to go to bed.
And my lack of sleep and frustrating day, it all melted away.
I slept so well that night, honestly, I'm not kidding, I swear I had a smile on my face.
When I woke up and had to do a little money examination and saw that our accounts were pretty darn low (yep, it takes a minute or ten to recover from unemployment), instead of getting mad and sad (my usual response), I thought, Well, this is great. This means we are going to eat though our full freezer and get creative. Plus, it means more family time and less running around. And thank heavens, we get paid again the end of next week.
I may have had taken a moment after all those happy thoughts flashed through my head--Ahhh, who is this happy person inside me? I do not know you (I want to . . . but still . . . it's a little . . . disconcerting). But I want to get to know you. In fact, could you stay . . . for the rest of my life? Please?
And then yesterday, after that, I had one thing after another with honestly no room to breath, but it was wonderful. Yoga with Lyns. Running with Kristi. Then picking out paint for my sisters house with a darling new friend (my sisters renter). Then I came home and just sat and read for two hours. Yes, I SAT and READ for two hours and it was wonderful. Then off to Finn's Cub Scouts Pack Meeting where I was just floored by how amazing our Pack leaders are. Everyone loved it and I learned about all sorts of animals--Bearded Dragon Lizards LOVE people and are super social. Truth. Then my sweet niece and husband came over and we had this lovely visit planning their sojourn with us this summer. And best of all, Evie came to me and put her arms out for me to pick up FIRST. Could the day have been better? No.
Was it perfect? Heck no, the girls left me with all the dinner dishes and mess to clean up. I didn't get to the laundry and I fell asleep before the house was locked up and all the lights on (thank goodness we live here) and about a thousand other things that made me feel STRONG feelings that were not happy or light or anything but pretty much grrrrrrr.
But I swear, taking a minute to see the good, it's like a grease coating that lets all the anger and crappy things sort of slide right off without penetrating into us.
Could this be true?
Has anyone else tried this and had their days seemed so much easier and lighter and better?
Because I have this feeling, this being present and stopping to notice the good, it's a darn good beginning to a better way of life.
I'm telling you right now, I'm going with this.
Like forever and ever.
Here is my view of the mountains as I was mowing the lawn . . . can you see all the fresh cut grass . . . it smelled like Heaven!
My yard coming to life and thriving . . . for the moment (summer and heat are coming) so I'm enjoying it.
Lone Peak. My favorite. And look at that sky . . .
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