I just finished two TED talks about strangers. The first talked about how much we benefit from actually making eye contact, having a conversation, and actually being vulnerable with them is to our minds, hearts, and souls. The second was about altruistic people and what makes someone altruistic . . . and can altruism be learned?
As I was chopping away at my flower patch that is not mostly just taken over by Black-Eyed Susans, I thought about strangers and what I was taught about stranger and how I feel about them now.
Here is before . . .
I know, it's hard to tell, but if you look really hard you can . . . I promise . . . at least I hope . . .
But back to strangers.
As I was listening I immediately thought of this super long flight I was on from Calgary to Connecticut (honestly, like about as far apart as you can get). I was 7 3/4 months pregnant with Finnegan flying out to go to my grandmother's funeral. On a good day, I really REALLY don't like flying, on a bad day, super sad and super emotionally pregnant, I am terrified of it. But I got on my flights anyways and everything went pretty smoothly . . . until we were on our approach to land at Bradley (Hartford Connecticut's airport). There was like this crazy bump and then all of a sudden it was as if the hand of God came and just pushed our airplane strait down to the ground. I mean, my stomach was doing all sorts of butterflies and we were floating out of our seats. The ground was flying up to meet US! I honestly thought, And this is where I END!
That's when I heard this voice gently talking to me. I looked over and saw that I was honestly practically hugging the man next to me . . . a thirty something, balding, round bellied completely unnoticeable man who had been sitting next to me for hours who I did not even say Hi to as I sat down. He was gently patting my hands that were gripping him for dear life hand telling me, We are very very high and this is a big strong plane and the captains know what they are doing . . . we are not going to die. We are going to be just fine.
Over and over again and then he told me about his wife and children and what he did for a living, all in this calming soothing voice as we were rocked from here to kingdom come.
Finally what seemed like hours but was probably only 5 minutes, the Captain comes on to say we had and "extreme downdraft" and that it should be smooth sailing from here on out and he was very sorry for any distress we'd experienced.
That's when I finally let go of this poor mans arm (I hate to say this, but I'm pretty sure there were red imprints left on his arm) and started breathing again. I think, I hope I thanked him, but I was still pretty shaken up. I just prayed my way down to the landing strip and then ran into the arms of my family and really didn't think of him anymore. I was just so darn glad to be on solid ground. I could have kissed it!
But later, as I was thinking about it, I realized that honestly, that man was like an Angel. He seriously could have said, Lady get your hands off me. Please! But instead, he totally comforted me and helped me through a pretty terrifying moment. I honestly think, let me be like that balding guy on that flight and help where help is needed.
And that's just one of the stories of strangers have helped me . . . and I'm not sure that says good things or bad about my crazy mixed up life. But one thing I know for sure, the more we are helped, the more willing we are to help. I see it all over the place. A smile is catching. Thank you multiplies. Do you need help? get's passed on.
That's what that second talk proposed and I 100% agree with it. The more we help out around us, the more people are willing to help others. I think that saying, Many Hands Make Light Work is true because of two things. 1) it's just true. If you have 50 bags of flour to carry into the house, five people will do it in 1/5 the time of 1. It's simple math. But 2) it makes you feel good to help. And feeling good, well, it's sort of addicting. Which leads me to another point, gratitude. I think it's super duper important to notice when someone has made your burden a little lighter. You realize the sacrifice and feel the love, and they feel seen and loved.
Today, my craziest of crazy primary kids came over (as they always do . . . and they're the only one's who do) for a treat. I was in the middle of said dead heading of flowers and asked them to come help me move the tramp before they got a treat. I expected great moaning and growing and NOOOOO! But after I confirmed that I would indeed give them an extra piece of licorice (my weakness), they enthusiastically helped. It was a little bit more complicated than expected, but again, instead of moans and groans, they got creative and helped each other figure it out. And the more I encouraged them and thanked them, the better at it they were. They laughed and encouraged each other and pretty much shocked me.
And made me so happy.
Helping does make you happy.
Always.
As I was chopping away at my flower patch that is not mostly just taken over by Black-Eyed Susans, I thought about strangers and what I was taught about stranger and how I feel about them now.
Here is before . . .
And here is after . . .
I know, it's hard to tell, but if you look really hard you can . . . I promise . . . at least I hope . . .
But back to strangers.
As I was listening I immediately thought of this super long flight I was on from Calgary to Connecticut (honestly, like about as far apart as you can get). I was 7 3/4 months pregnant with Finnegan flying out to go to my grandmother's funeral. On a good day, I really REALLY don't like flying, on a bad day, super sad and super emotionally pregnant, I am terrified of it. But I got on my flights anyways and everything went pretty smoothly . . . until we were on our approach to land at Bradley (Hartford Connecticut's airport). There was like this crazy bump and then all of a sudden it was as if the hand of God came and just pushed our airplane strait down to the ground. I mean, my stomach was doing all sorts of butterflies and we were floating out of our seats. The ground was flying up to meet US! I honestly thought, And this is where I END!
That's when I heard this voice gently talking to me. I looked over and saw that I was honestly practically hugging the man next to me . . . a thirty something, balding, round bellied completely unnoticeable man who had been sitting next to me for hours who I did not even say Hi to as I sat down. He was gently patting my hands that were gripping him for dear life hand telling me, We are very very high and this is a big strong plane and the captains know what they are doing . . . we are not going to die. We are going to be just fine.
Over and over again and then he told me about his wife and children and what he did for a living, all in this calming soothing voice as we were rocked from here to kingdom come.
Finally what seemed like hours but was probably only 5 minutes, the Captain comes on to say we had and "extreme downdraft" and that it should be smooth sailing from here on out and he was very sorry for any distress we'd experienced.
That's when I finally let go of this poor mans arm (I hate to say this, but I'm pretty sure there were red imprints left on his arm) and started breathing again. I think, I hope I thanked him, but I was still pretty shaken up. I just prayed my way down to the landing strip and then ran into the arms of my family and really didn't think of him anymore. I was just so darn glad to be on solid ground. I could have kissed it!
But later, as I was thinking about it, I realized that honestly, that man was like an Angel. He seriously could have said, Lady get your hands off me. Please! But instead, he totally comforted me and helped me through a pretty terrifying moment. I honestly think, let me be like that balding guy on that flight and help where help is needed.
And that's just one of the stories of strangers have helped me . . . and I'm not sure that says good things or bad about my crazy mixed up life. But one thing I know for sure, the more we are helped, the more willing we are to help. I see it all over the place. A smile is catching. Thank you multiplies. Do you need help? get's passed on.
That's what that second talk proposed and I 100% agree with it. The more we help out around us, the more people are willing to help others. I think that saying, Many Hands Make Light Work is true because of two things. 1) it's just true. If you have 50 bags of flour to carry into the house, five people will do it in 1/5 the time of 1. It's simple math. But 2) it makes you feel good to help. And feeling good, well, it's sort of addicting. Which leads me to another point, gratitude. I think it's super duper important to notice when someone has made your burden a little lighter. You realize the sacrifice and feel the love, and they feel seen and loved.
Today, my craziest of crazy primary kids came over (as they always do . . . and they're the only one's who do) for a treat. I was in the middle of said dead heading of flowers and asked them to come help me move the tramp before they got a treat. I expected great moaning and growing and NOOOOO! But after I confirmed that I would indeed give them an extra piece of licorice (my weakness), they enthusiastically helped. It was a little bit more complicated than expected, but again, instead of moans and groans, they got creative and helped each other figure it out. And the more I encouraged them and thanked them, the better at it they were. They laughed and encouraged each other and pretty much shocked me.
And made me so happy.
Helping does make you happy.
Always.
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