The Phoenix: Epicuriousmothering Rising

For the last three days, I've felt like my life is enchanted. The weather has been stormy and calm, cloudy and full of sunshine and it seems to match my moods perfectly. I've honestly found myself thinking, Yes, God, finally I get weather to match me!  Thank you!  (Because, of course everything is about ME). The children are all happy. I am sleeping like a new born baby. I have time to both read AND visit and the people I want to be with have time to be with me and it's worked out. I'm not so worried about schedules or getting places or things done.  Mostly, I'm just happy letting life flow around me and letting what is, is. I've had energy to work out and don't feel too exhausted afterwards--in fact often, I find I have more energy than before. When I've gone to do my six errands in one hour, I've gotten every. single. one. done. Unheard of. And I was happy doing it.  Honestly, didn't run into one line that sidelined me. I...

While I was running in the pouring rain today, I kept thinking about writing.  In fact, when it was pouring pouring pouring and the temperature dropped like 10 degrees and I started losing feeling in my fingers, I began writing this post in my mind.  It was really really good.  I laughed and cried and thought Gees, you're such a great writer Mary! (Yes, I can in fact fool myself).  Only now . . . I can't really remember much I wrote in my mind.  Darn mind.  Speaking of minds, May turns mine to mush.  Between allergies (thank you beautiful budding trees . . . I lovingly Hate You) and the insane end of year recitals and school demands, I can't keep anything straight.  Everything is going sideways and I'm barely holding on.  I honestly think every single May, I am officially going crazy.  Then school ends, June comes cool and calm and there aren't really any demands and I get to remember how to breath. No joke, I actually honestly get s...

Kindness. It's like the most wonderful thing ever. But so is honesty and sometimes, I like it even more than kindness. I think we often, in the fear of being unkind, are not honest when we should be.  This lack of honesty creates all sorts of bad behaviors in ourselves and in our friends and family and people we interact with. Lots of crap situations happen because we are too afraid of just telling the truth--even if it's hard to hear or say.  Lately, well, this year, I've been really working on examining myself and truth and honesty and kindness and how I interact.  I've come to a few realizations, but first, let me define honesty. To me, honesty is when we tell what's inside our hearts and let what is important to us be known.  Honesty is NOT an excuse to say, Yeah, let me be honest, you're a crap sister or you're a bad husband or you really DON'T understand how to do your hair.  No, being honest is saying, I don't think I can actually be r...

Yesterday I sat with my face to the sun for hours.  It was the perfect temperature--mid 70s--with a gentle breeze that came exactly the moment when it got too hot.  I was surrounded by my children, John and my sister and her family.  We all listened to wise advice and beautiful music and felt the peacefulness and calming that comes from being reminded that we are not alone in the universe and that we are loved and that we are capable of greatness. And I was also sick and so were all of us.  Finn has goopy eye that weeps white stuff and all of us have sore throats and an excess of mucus.  It's icky in every way.  But yesterday, while I sat in the sun and listened, I felt at peace. And this morning as I did a hard yoga practice with Anne in the sunshine as the wind outside literally shook the house and made it moan, I still felt it.  As I went from pose to pose, I thought about how hard yoga is (for those of you who think it's easy . . . please,...

And today marks my 40th blog entry.  I am feeling . . . well, I'll tell you, but first . . .  Look!  The Sun DID come out . . .   I sat outside (even if it was a bit chilly and windy) and soaked up all that good vitamin D. Piper and Finn are miraculously better (at least while the sun shines). John is happier at work (HUGE sigh). Phoebe and Celia got the grades they hoped for at school (bless them for being studious--Oh Henry, how you've made us so happy with just passing . . . you did good for your sisters LOWERING the bar). Our family worries are for the moment holding steady and in fact, looking optimistic. And best of all, my eye seems to be just fine.  Finnegan was right. So here we are . . .  40 posts later and I feel . . .   Proud. Humbled. Thankful. A little embarrassed.  Grateful. Enlightened. And most of all brave. I think these feelings have spread to every are...

This whole week--since last Friday--the weather has been stormy and gray and cold.  There is no hint of warmth except for the few minutes here or there when the sun peeks out behind the clouds and then it is only a brief warmth that barely makes you turn your head towards the light. March came in like a Lamb, there is no option it seems but to go out like a Lion. And this year, it is a sullen and grumpy lion.  And I feel like I can totally relate. These past three weeks of John starting a job have been worthy of gray weather and storms and fits and starts and moments when it seems the sun will shine,  only to get your hopes dashed with the gray clouds moving in.  There have been reprieves and I have been thankful for them, but overall, this adjustment time is challenging.  Last night, after the guest all left and I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep,  I was woken by my eye aching and the discovery that I couldn't really see out of it.  Instead ...

Last year was pretty darn AMAZING  . . . but this one was just as good (and maybe even a little bit better). Started out with sleeping in (bless John's heart). Then Headstand Yoga (which I did one ore two of them and fell on most . . .) This isn't actually the headstand yoga--it's a picture I took to make my friend feel guilty about ditching a few days ago . .. but you can feel the yoga energy . . .  Then I went to the Temple with my darling friend and met up accidentally with another for a quiet (yes please!), contemplative, warm and cozy (between my two dear dear friends) morning . . .  Followed by the MOST DELICIOUS surprise LUNCH EVER at Cubby's with even more darling friends (lots of talking about Magical Tidying Up and traveling the world--pretty much dream conversations). Then . . .  a unexpected (but much needed) pedicure treat that honestly melted my bones (I LOVE those massage chairs.  I need one!) and made my sweet little r...