The Phoenix: Epicuriousmothering Rising

This whole week--since last Friday--the weather has been stormy and gray and cold.  There is no hint of warmth except for the few minutes here or there when the sun peeks out behind the clouds and then it is only a brief warmth that barely makes you turn your head towards the light. March came in like a Lamb, there is no option it seems but to go out like a Lion. And this year, it is a sullen and grumpy lion.  And I feel like I can totally relate. These past three weeks of John starting a job have been worthy of gray weather and storms and fits and starts and moments when it seems the sun will shine,  only to get your hopes dashed with the gray clouds moving in.  There have been reprieves and I have been thankful for them, but overall, this adjustment time is challenging.  Last night, after the guest all left and I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep,  I was woken by my eye aching and the discovery that I couldn't really see out of it.  Instead ...

Last year was pretty darn AMAZING  . . . but this one was just as good (and maybe even a little bit better). Started out with sleeping in (bless John's heart). Then Headstand Yoga (which I did one ore two of them and fell on most . . .) This isn't actually the headstand yoga--it's a picture I took to make my friend feel guilty about ditching a few days ago . .. but you can feel the yoga energy . . .  Then I went to the Temple with my darling friend and met up accidentally with another for a quiet (yes please!), contemplative, warm and cozy (between my two dear dear friends) morning . . .  Followed by the MOST DELICIOUS surprise LUNCH EVER at Cubby's with even more darling friends (lots of talking about Magical Tidying Up and traveling the world--pretty much dream conversations). Then . . .  a unexpected (but much needed) pedicure treat that honestly melted my bones (I LOVE those massage chairs.  I need one!) and made my sweet little r...

Today, I totally had a-ha! moment. I was watching this movie ( Miss Potter --utterly delightful if you haven't seen it) and in the end, this woman gets married at the ancient age of 40!  I was horrified.  That's too old.  You're all dried up.  You're an old woman by then.  Poor her!  Old old OLD her. And then . . . I realized . . .Uh, tomorrow I turn 41. And I don't think I'm dried up at all. I think I'm . . . pretty much awesome.  I am not OLD! Am I . . . ? I had to stop and just laugh at myself.  All my life I really thought LIFE ended at 40.  What good were you after that?  You didn't have babies anymore (not true, but my young brain was convinced of this), you weren't sexy, cute, or anything awesome.  40 on up you were saggy old ladies who wore ugly bathing suits, sexless pants, and loved to chat on the couch/porch/pool/beach instead of getting out there and DOING stuff. In short . . . 40 was the beginning of the end...

I almost posted last night, only I was squished between coughing, moaning Piper and tired John.  To move meant to disrupt a balance (and a restlessly sleeping girl) and could result in drama.  And after a early morning, 6 loaves of bread, two Sharing Time Easter week lessons, 8 children (4 college students fed, 80 hot cross buns, 250 candy eggs, one big easter meal, and everyone (except the sicko) into bed, I was in the mood for drama and I was not good for much more than a long, sweet sign. Today . . . well, it's been so full of good things.  I've been reading The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up  and I'm on the third page.  That's how much time I have to read while I got to the bathroom.  The only time I really read during the day.  And so far it's totally inspiring.  But it's also a little depressing because I realized that in order to tidy and organize your life . . . you have to have TIME to do it.  To de-clutter and organize a clos...

I've been very distracted this week for lots of reasons--John still getting adjusted to his job, me getting adjusted to my job again (mama without a nanny), Celia riding (or not riding) her horse, and my beautiful niece getting engaged and being part of the process. I'll let you see the process . . .   The start of the Engagement Walk . . . Cody was up the hill waiting for Hannon . . . (the white dots in the photo is SNOW)   Walking up the hill trying really hard not to tell Hannon . . .   The hiding while the Proposal Happened . . .    And here they are . . . Engaged . . .    The Congratulations . . .    The Family Selfie . . . BEAUTIFUL MOMENT   And Us with Evie . . . because it's too darling not to add to the beauty of the day   The Triumphant Decent (leaving the newly engaged behind)   And Finishing up the evening with Easter Egg dying . . .  Isn't it beauti...

Spring is the time each year I fall in love . . . with John my kids the air the mountains friends life. This year is no different. It's like winter has glazed over my eyes and numbed my heart, but the warmth of the gentle spring sun is melting it away and I can see and feel again. Things--words, touches, smiles, laughter--they become precious and profound and tender. I must stop and bask in it.  Soak it in.  Let it sink into me and wake me up again. Yesterday Finn told me that he loved me and I felt my heart shudder a little at it's pure sweetness. Natascha climbed with me over ice fields and through woods to find my phone in the snow (stupid me) and laughed and cheered me on. Everyday of the week Lynsie comes over and practices yoga with me even when we both would rather be in bed.  She gets me on the mat more than anything else. My running group gets me up at 545 Monday and Thursday mornings and inspires me and pushes me to be not only faste...

Sometimes we get tired. I don't mean sleepy or exhausted, I mean tired.  Tired of your routine, your work outs, your house, your friends, your kids, your husband, your . . . (fill in the blank).  That's how I've been feeling lately.  Tired. I find myself getting into the car to go to the grocery store or anywhere and I fight the impulse to just keep on going.  California is calling my name . . . or forget that, Mexico is sending me love texts constantly.  And it's not because I don't love my people, I do.  I just . . . I just want to go . . . Last night as I sat by Phoebe who was studying away as I was about to climb into bed, I said, Hey, how are you? She usually just says fine and goes back to her studying, but last night, as I smoothed her hair away from her face, she looked up at me and sighed.  Mom, she said, I feel off.  Everything is blah.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  I don't like anything.  I smoothed her...